A Eulogy for my Oldie Goldie

Grieve. How do you grieve? What do you do? Do you say thank you to people expressing condolences? Do you cry? Do you try to stay strong?

 Each one of us has a different way to grieve. Some are too expressive, like my mom. Some secretly cry in the bathroom, like my dad. And some teleport themselves to a dream island to avoid messing with their head, like me. 

I thought I didn't know how to grieve. 

But today was different. I never before thought that one day I would have to walk through that white gated door of my grandparent's place and not shout, "Yo, what's up" waking even dead ants and mosquitoes inside. 

The house. It wasn't scary because it was empty. It was scary because it was so full. 

There, yes, was an empty feeling, but what scared me more was the number of people in that house. For as long as I've been visiting "sector 37" (that's how I know it), there has been an entry cap, any more than ten people (that too is the max end), and the house felt super strange. 

The colonel in there (Hitler as many referred to him) was a strict man. More than ten people in the house, and there'd be a "STOP" sign outside! Unless, of course, during our cosy family get-togethers. 

I shivered. Yes. I tried so hard not to cry. 

I have always flaunted being super strong. So far, I've maintained that reputation. I see my father, and he's STRONG. And except for numbers and anything finance, I've always wanted to be his mini version! 

So I was asked to say a little something at his Shanti Path, a eulogy for my grandfather. Haha, I never remember calling him grandpa, yeah maybe for a brief period, I called him dadu, but it wasn't long before I had outgrown him, height-wise!! 

So yeah, for the rest of the time, it was Oldie Goldie, and the most recent was "My young man" with a kiss on his forehead 🙈

So, in a eulogy, you share fond memories. I don't know. I am too selfish. I don't want to let anyone into the special moments that I created with my young man. 

But the one thing that I'm willing to share is my gratitude to God. 

I'm thankful to Him for giving me those special moments where I could see his phases, no, not the Parkinson phases, but him transitioning from colonel to grandpa. 

From saying "NO, no sweets, they give you cavities in your mouth" to "I ordered three buckets of chocolate ice cream because you like it", and mind you, I had got onto the "I am on a diet" phase by then. So, it was more for himself with my name tag on it!! 

From discipline, utter silence at home to playing "my Punjabi playlist" on speakers! And the volume was, well, decently loud? 🤭

But, I'm so glad I could be a part of this transition, this flow. 

My dear Oldie Goldie, you now have embarked onto your afterlife, sailing through the clouds, but do know that you will always always be right here, in my heart! ❤️